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  • Writer's pictureAmary Blu

Extroverts vs. Introverts - Social Butterflies vs. Lone Wolves

Updated: Jun 21

Everyone has their own understanding of these two categories.

From what the internet says:

  • Social Butterflies- They are extroverted and outgoing. Talkative with various people.

  • Lone Wolves- They like to do things on their own and not in groups.

I'm not going to lie, while searching the definitions I didn't expect to learn something new but here we are. I read that the word 'social' comes from the Latin word 'socius' meaning companion or ally. In a way, I get it because if you are social with someone that means you are being friendly.

The part that was funny to me was when I found a WikiHow post on 'How to Be a Social Butterfly'. I makes sense and a lot of people would like to have this skill. Because let's be honest, we all know not everyone is born social. Pfft, I am not a good example either.

Quick Check-In: Which Group Do You Belong To?

  • 0%Social Butterfly Flutter

  • 0%Lone Wolf Pack

Difference between Extroverts & Introverts

They say extroverted people are the social type and people who are introverted mostly avoid groups of people. I would say that's only half true. Coming from an introverted person herself, yes I hate talking in groups but if the group is filled with people I am comfortable with then I'm blabbing and even arguing sometimes. (My friend group is filled with the most serious unserious people ever so we are bound to argue a lot)

It's not about who can hold a conversation the longest but it's about the energy source.

Extroverts gain energy from other people so stuff like parties, concerts, and festivals excites them. Those things are like energy drinks for them, they can keep going the more they consume them.

While introverts get their energy from themselves. Basically, they are self-charging batteries. (Wait do those exist??) Anyways, so stuff like solo dancing in the house, reading books, and watching series gives them comfort. That means if they talk to someone new, that conversation will drain their energy the longer it continues. Unless they are extremely interested in the topic of course. On the outside, they may be friendly and polite but on the inside, they are screaming to be saved by a social person. Not to be mean, it's just that it doesn't fuel their energy therefore the urge to run away will kick in.

Yet there's another thing, sometimes people who are social claims to be introverts. Over the years they learned how to charm someone and be engaged in a conversation without draining their energy. And vice versa too, quiet people claim to be extroverts. In this case, they can show a lot of personality but choose to be quiet around certain people.

Two board sign with the text Introvert and Extrovert

So what do we understand exactly?

Social Butterflies aren't always extroverted people, they can also be introverted with social skills.

Lone Wolves aren't always introverted people, they can also be extroverts who hate humans and want to be left alone but people seem to like them.

Honestly, I don't even know which side I stand on anymore because with certain people I can joke around and be goofy while with others I am more reserved and quiet. So no wonder they say every person you meet has a different version of you in their minds.

Someone asked me once why I don't talk in groups because I'm funny. I was like thank you because something about making jokes and the group doesn't laugh just doesn't feel good.

With that being said, for everyone out there make sure to:

  1. Read the room first.

  2. Know which type of energy you match with.

  3. Don't feel bad about not being able to match someone's energy because you. just. can't. like. everyone. There are billions of people on this earth, come on.

  4. Don't force anything. A lot of people might like a certain person but that doesn't mean you have to like them too.

  5. Be unapologetically you. (So glad I wrote that word in one go and it was correct wuahaha) You will realize the ones that stick around are actually your kind of people. And for the ones that don't, oh well not your problem.

In the end, if you want to be a Social Butterfly, go ahead I even put the link to the WikiHow post. Not sure if it will help though. And if you want to be a Lone Wolf then that's cool too, people can be exhausting sometimes anyway. The bright side is that you can switch between these 2 personas however much you like so I would say live your life the way you want and not the way society wants.

But I'm just a girl who wants to write about interesting topics, what do I know?

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